


The Gate of Five Hundred Years

by needchocolatenow



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-19
Updated: 2012-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-16 14:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/540519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needchocolatenow/pseuds/needchocolatenow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a gate in a city and it calls to Goku.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gate of Five Hundred Years

**Author's Note:**

> Though vague, there are references to Gaiden.

They decide to stop in the city that’s near the base of the mountains, bustling and teeming with life. They walk past a giant castle in the middle of the city and all four of them come to a stop to stare at the closed gate that kept out the people.

Sanzo thinks it’s a waste of money. Hakkai thinks it’s a nice work of art. Gojyo thinks that whoever commissioned it must be hauling in babes like no tomorrow.

Goku feels a terrible, dark feeling coming over him when he stares at the gate. He wants it torn down, he wants to keep it open because there’s something he’s waiting for to come through. It’s just a feeling, a terrible loneliness clawing at his chest threatening to explode, and then it’s all gone when Gojyo mentions food.

Goku doesn’t spare another glance back at the elaborate gate as they go back to walking the crowded streets.

* * *

  
They make it a habit to not stay in one place too long, but with the sudden onslaught of bad weather and landslides, the four of them have no choice but to stay.  
  
Their inn is situated at a slight elevation, giving them a good view of the city. Goku stares out of the window, bored and listless. Next to him, Sanzo is reading the newspaper, grouchy and in an intolerable mood. Hakkai and Gojyo were playing cards and conversing in light hearted tones. But it’s raining and no one likes the rain. It depresses everyone, Sanzo especially.  
  
Goku would normally be playing with Hakkai and Gojyo, the art of looking at landscapes lost on his short attention span, but he’s occupied.  
  
It’s the gate. He can’t tear his eyes away from it; it makes him so angry and so sad, he wants to tear the gate down, but he knows he can’t. He’s waiting for something, just waiting, like he was back in the mountains.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
Sanzo’s sharp voice pierces Goku’s head and he realizes that he’s climbing halfway out the window.  
  
He looks at Sanzo, stares at the beautiful golden hair and violet eyes, and for a moment he not-really-remembers something. It’s on the tip of his tongue, but it slides away like rain, and Goku grins. “Oops. Sorry. I was thinking.”  
  
Sanzo snorts and returns to his reading.  
  
“Wow, if that was you thinking, I’d hate to see you when you’re not thinking,” Gojyo interjects with a playful grin and Goku forgets everything again.  
  


* * *

  
Sometimes when he’s sleeping, he dreams about food. He dreams about eating and having lots and lots of meals with Sanzo and Gojyo and Hakkai. Sometimes, they eat so much that everything changes.  
Instead of sitting at a table, they’re all underneath a giant cherry tree that won’t stop blooming. He can’t see any of their faces, but he knows instinctively that they are Sanzo and Gojyo and Hakkai. He knows it, feels it in his gut; he is relaxed.  
  
Sometimes he’s climbing on the tree and then the next moment, he’s falling, but it’s Sanzo that catches him.  
  
When he wakes up from those dreams, Goku finds the need to wipe away the vestiges of tears from his eyes.  
  
This morning is not an exception; he wakes to find trails streaming down his cheeks and he just can’t stop them no matter how much he wipes them away. His breath hitches and it’s so early in the morning that he wakes everyone else in the room with his crying.  
  
“What’s wrong, Goku?” Hakkai asks, gentle. He presses a warm cup of tea into Goku’s hands.  
  
Gojyo is smiling, sitting at the foot of Goku’s bed. Everyone knows the red head wants to tease Goku about his tears, but Gojyo knows more self-restraint than they realize. He just smiles and smokes a cigarette.  
Sanzo is irritated and glaring at Goku from his own bed that’s a foot away. “What the fuck are you upset about, you stupid monkey?” Sanzo snapped. “Abso-fucking-lutely nothing has happened in these past couple of days.”  
  
Goku shakes his head and drinks his tea and continues to wipe away his tears. From the corner of his eyes, he sees the gate, the large looming gate. It stands as still as stone, closed.  
  
He’s never hated something so much before. He’s never felt so much despair. He doesn’t understand.  
  
“There’s something wrong with that gate,” he mumbles, turning back to the others. “Can we leave soon?”  
  
Hakkai exchanges a look with the other two and then he sighs and pats Goku on the head. “The roads are dangerous right now and I don’t know if Jeep can handle the roughness.” He then changes the subject to something lighter. “How about some breakfast?”  


* * *

  
In an effort to show him that nothing was wrong with the gate, Sanzo forced them all to go back to it. The rain has lessened to a slight drizzle, but the streets are wet and slippery.  
  
Hakkai has a small pamphlet in his hand, full of information about the city, its population, and its history. He reads it out loud for Goku’s benefit.  
  
“What a great day to go sightseeing,” Gojyo grumbles, but a well timed glare from Hakkai and he pipes down.  
  
They stand before the gate again, it looking just as looming and large and still as ever. Goku can feel everyone’s eyes on him, he can feel their wariness. He also feels the deep, wretched spite twisting inside and he cannot, for the life of him, fathom why.  
  
“Did someone die here?” he asks. He’s staring down at the gate, at the bottom where the ground met metal and wood. He’s not aware if there was an answer because he’s fallen to his knees, burying his head into the rain-wept ground, and everything is on fire, screaming, bloody, alone—  


* * *

  
“You broke the goddamned gate, that’s what.”  
  
“I what?! I don’t remember this!”  
  
“Don’t blame me for your amnesia!”  
  
“Why would I do something as pointless as breaking the gate?!”  
  
“I don’t know! You’re the monkey!”  
  
“I’m not a monkey!”  
  
“If the two of you don’t shut up, I’ll shoot you!”  


* * *

  
Goku never sees the gate again and the incident quickly disappears from memory. He willingly forgets the pain and loneliness he felt because he has people that care for him now, people that love him. He will never remember his past and he thinks it’s okay.  
  
As painful as it is, he’s glad to leave the past buried and locked.


End file.
